The "Final Destination" trilogy is one of the best horror film series ever.

In my conscious effort to update more often and try and win back some of my audience (which I don't think I ever really had) I've decided to write about this film series because I watched "Final Destination 3" tonight and decided it really deserves a mention here.

In case you've never heard of these films, I'll describe the plot of the first one because that is the only one that is necessary. "Final Destination" is a film about a group of high school students going on a school trip to Paris. Upon arriving at the airport, one student begins experiencing major anxiety about the flight meanwhile everyone else continues chattering excitedly unknowing of what is going on. Once the students board the plane, hi's anxiety kicks it into high gear when suddenly he has a premonition of technical problems with the plane causing it to explode and thereby causing everyone on board to die. The student begins shouting and causing a scene causing some students to leave voluntarily, and others to be forced off involuntarily. Shortly after the plane takes off, the group of students and their teacher left in the airport watch the plane they were just on explode and everyone die. The group of remaining students consist of the standard, exaggerated, stereotypical caricatures of high school students such as the jock, the outcast, and the popular girl. Soon the members of this group begin dying in mysterious accidents that through a series of totally contrived occurrences. The student that had the premonition begins investigating what is happening, and in a ridiculous encounter with a local undertaker, learns that death has a plan for each person, and by getting off the plane, the student interrupted death's plan. Therefore, in order to make things right, death must kill these students that survived. The film then follows the group as they try and cheat death a second time.

The plot is absolutely a cheesy, plain horror movie plot. What makes these movies special, however, is the thought that is put into the deaths of the people. Each death gives you "clues" as to how it will happen, such as a simple shot of something being spilled onto the floor or perhaps a frayed wire waiting to spark. This allows the viewer of the film to put together exactly how the death will play out in their head, and allows them to prepare for what they are about to see. When the death actually occurs, this is one of the few films that displays exactly what you had pictured in your head because of the beautiful way in which it has previously setup the death. Sometimes, however, the deaths are prolonged and fool the viewer into predicting something that will not happen. For example, one of the first deaths in the original "Final Destination" starts with one student in the bathroom shaving. The viewer sees the force that symbolizes Death in the film creep in through the window and cause the toilet to start overflowing silently allowing for water to begin covering the floor. The water begins to creep over to the student's feet while he is shaving and the music begins to crescendo. Obviously, the viewer begins to prepare for the student to slip on the water and somehow slit his own throat with the razor. This is not, however, what occurs and in order to prevent any other spoilers I'll let you view the film and see what plays out.

In these films, it is basically a series of sudden, shocking deaths separated by moments of standard horror dialogue and contrived meetings with people. One example of this is that in the first film the student that had the premonition randomly meets the undertaker at the local morgue and pretty much has it spelled out for him exactly what is going on. These films require absolutely no thought except for the deaths, as the characters in the films constantly inform other students that survived the tragedies with what is transpiring in the film.

The real value of these films is, as I said, in the deaths. The deaths are almost always incredibly swift, and incredibly gory. The build ups to the deaths are quite long so as to provide some semblence of suspense, however, the actual events that kill the people are swift and bloody. Did I also mention hilarious? The film does not take itself seriously at all, it knows that it is a cheesy teen horror movie. The excessive setups as well as the intricate and totally random circumstances surrounding each death are thought up with utmost care to ensure the viewer is able to delight in each death's blood-soaked wonderment. Now let me clarify, this is not the type of film for for someone that finds someone getting stabbed film cringe worthy, this is the type of comedy that occurs from viewing over-the-top gore such as in the "Evil Dead" trilogy. The laughs evoked from each death come from, as I call it, the "Holy shit!" value, which is, as I said before, the fact that they are able to provide you with a visual that often exceeds the expectation you had created in your head. It has earned this name as literally, and often, while watching these films alone or with others, the first thing out of my mouth after I view one of the deaths is "Holy shit!" and then I proceed to laugh at the pure carnage I have just witnessed.

Now, what is truly, and what I think one of the best ideas ever for a film series, is that each of the films is totally formulaic and nearly identical. The characters in each film are totally interchangeable and the dialogue is absolutely unimportant. The only character I am able to remember fromt he series at the moment is Wendy from "Final Destination 3" and the only reason for this is because the actress that plays the role is Mary Elizabeth Winstead, that's right, Gwen from "Sky High." I also remember this because I think she's cute. There, I said it. Anywy, the only things that really needs to have some time put into them is the deaths. There is no deep moral lesson here, there are no major tragedies, there is no major exposition, there is no beautiful love story, there are no philosophical undertones, there are no ingenious film styles, it's simply the viewer watching freak accidents, it is a film that epitomizes the saying of "Shit happens."

The original "Final Destination" surrounds a group of high school students that get off a plane and try to figure out death's plan while they are killed off one by one. "Final Destination 2" surrounds a group of high school students and a couple other people that managed to avoid a major traffic accident that are killed off one by one and this time no undertaker is required as they can just look up newspaper articles about the incident in the original "Final Destination" which is referred to through out the films as the "Flight 180 incident." This is because Flight 180 was the flight in the original film which the students left. "Final Destination 3" surrounds a group of high school students that avoid a major roller-coaster catastrophe and are killed off one by one and, once again, don't need an undertaker as they have the newspaper article from the first film. The first film attempts slightly to pass itself off as a true suspense/horror/mystery film at times, but there are definite glimpses (such as the bus incident) where you see the true intention of the filmmakers. The second film requires slightly less exposition as it quickly sums up the concept of "death's plan" as outlined in the first film. The third film the exposition is almost non-existent as there is just a mention of "death's plan" and then people trying to prevent death.

Overall, this trilogy is one of the most enjoyable horror series out there, both for its comedic value and exorbitant amount of gore. I can only hope they won't end it in a trilogy and these filmmakers will continue using the brilliant formula they have devised to provide me with many, many more hours of enjoyment.

ULTRAVIOLET

I WAS TEMPTED TO WRITE THIS ENTIRE POST IN ALL CAPS SINCE I THINK IT BEGINS TO GIVE A FEEL FOR THE TRUE INTENSITY AND BADASSNESS OF THE FILM, but then the few people who might read this really won't. This movie was all the awfulness I expected it to be and more. It was like Kurt Wimmer watched "Aeon Flux" and "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" and felt he would never top himself after "Equilibrium," so he tried to remake it with a female but add much more BADASSNESS to it and less anything else. Also, apparently in the future you can change your hair color and outfit color at any given time, but the style has to remain the same, especially for females the uniform they must wear is: some kind of tiny, odd vest/jacket, a tight shirt that makes sure to leave your entire midriff open, and some super spandex pants. I would not have pulled through the whole film had it not been for Milla Jovovich as the star, but I have a feeling that I will grow to love this film and will definitely be purchasing it as soon as it drops to under $7 which will probably be within 2 weeks of the DVD release. I don't really want to write much more about this except that I have to say at least there was close to what I was expecting which is loud music, some of the worst written dialogue I've ever heard, guns, blood, and one of my favorite leading ladies (it will take a helluva lot more than this film to ruin the place she earned in my heart from her role as Leeloo in "The Fifth Element").

Silent Hill

Pretty much every film I have written about on here was a review after the film was released, I realized I haven't really hyped any film very much over the past couple years. This changed once I realized they were adapting the game "Silent Hill" into a movie. I've been following it as best I can and had been checking in on the progress being made every now and then, but frankly I didn't want to ruin any awesome surprises or stumble upon some spoiler that would ruin it for me. I can't hold it in anymore and this is probably my most highly anticipated film of this year and from what I've read and seen it seems like it will absolutely meet my expectations. So...let's begin!

"Silent Hill" was a horror-based video game released for Playstation in 1999. The game was released by Konami which, regardless of whatever they produce, will always be remembered by me as the producer of arcade games across the nation that proudly displayed the blue screen with the government's anti-drug message randomly. The game was well received, however, it was often compared to "Resident Evil" which had pretty consistently received better reviews. The difference I found, while playing these games, is that while "Resident Evil" would spook me with something shocking, "Silent Hill" felt like it had an overall creepier atmosphere that I found more entertaining. The series then continued with the games "Silent Hill 2," "Silent Hill 3," and "Silent Hill 4: The Room," and eventually the film was announced. I was wary of the film because each of the games changed the cast of characters and also because I have seen both (and own both) "Resident Evil" movies. I then began reading articles that changed my mind and I am totally confident in this film.

Christophe Gans is directing the film, his major credit right now is "Brotherhood of the Wolf" which was an enjoyable film about a wolf-like creature in 18th Century France that likes to eat people. I still wasn't totally confident in the film crew until I began reading gossip which turns out to later be confirmed, that the team making the movie actually met with the creator of the original "Silent Hill" game Akira Yamakoa and discussed the ideas surrounding the game. That alone was enough to make me convinced that Monsieur Gans actually was going to make a decent movie and that it wouldn't be an Uwe Boll film, a "Street Fighter," "Mortal Kombat," or pretty much any video game to film adaptation ever. Besides that, Akira Yamakoa is also credited as being the composer for the film which leads me to believe that he made sure the feel he gave the games will be retained in the film. Finally, I have not found any confirmation (because I haven't really investigated it that much) but most rumors state that there were "3 people from Konami on set at all times to give input and review the dailies." A video game company that actually cares about what happens to their license in the hands of someone else? HOLY SHIT! My mind was now made up that this would in fact be better than "Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties."

Then I viewed the trailer online (http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/silenthill/index.html) and felt that this film will not butcher the name of Silent Hill but will further help it to maintain its place as one of the best puzzle/horror/awesome titles ever. I recommend watching the trailer rather than reading the IMDb description because frankly, the IMDb description makes the premise sound incredibly stupid. While watching the trailer a second time, something caught my eye...PYRAMID HEAD!

For everything you've ever wanted to know about Pyramid Head, you can read here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramid_Head but I'll give some basic information so you can get a feel for the guy...er...thing. He's a creature that looks like a human male, he's about 8 feet tall or so, and wears a giant fucking pyramid on his head. The pyramid resembles the executioners' hoods that executioners in the town used to wear, and he wears outfits made of human flesh. He's got a massive machete and everytime you encounter him the game he's either raping something, killing it, and in general is probably one of the best characters in a video game ever. Here's a couple better pictures of him:



Since I posted the poster of Pyramid Head (which didn't win), let's discuss the brilliant idea Sony developed for the poster. Sony decided to hold a contest where fans create movie posters for the film and the winner will get his or her idea chosen for one of the final Silent Hill posters. This not only allows fans to make posters which will tempt other fans of the film but also allows for Sony to save a shit ton of money by saving them the cost of hiring a professional designer to make a poster. Brilliant!

Anyway, basically this entire post was an excuse to post the above two images and in general just express my incredible level of anticipation for this film. This film could easily become one of the cheesiest, stupidest movies ever in the hands of someone like Uwe Boll, however, I feel that this film, even for people that have not played the games, will stand up as an excellent horror film, which there has been a major lack of in the last couple of years, on its own.

How can one say Hollywood is in decline...

...when an image like that can sum up the Academy Awards? Last night was possibly one of the worst awards shows I've ever watched for anything. You know it's bad when the host (Jon Stewart) is taking jabs at the content of the show. I found it humorous that they chose Jon Stewart to host when they know he's got some pretty big balls and will be willing to criticize nearly anything, solely so in opes that they'd the "anti-establishment" types to tune in to watch him. Anyway, the content of the show consisted of mainly two incredibly confusing and less-than-mediocre performances ("Bird" York and Three 6 Mafia), boring montages, and stupid anti-piracy speeches. I think they realized this show was going to be awful this year so to ensure that it would be talked about the next day they gave Three 6 Mafia an oscar.

As far as the awards go, I wasn't all that shocked by any of them. I was 100% sure Reese Witherspoon was going to win for Best Actress, and 90% sure Ang Lee would win for Brokeback Mountain. I haven't seen Capote yet, but Philip Seymour Hoffman has consistently been awesome in every part he's had, however minor the role may be, so I was glad he finally got some solid recognition. I was slightly surprised Jake Gyllenhaal didn't win for Best Supporting Actor, however, George Clooney is still a badass regardless of what people say so that sat fine with me. I didn't really care about Best Supporting Actress at all, so I had no feelings as to who should win. I was extremely glad Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit won for Best Animated Feature because anything Wallace and Gromit is always brilliant. I was impressed how many awards Memoirs of a Geisha won because while it was a beautiful film, I found it pretty dull and hadn't heard much talk surrounding it.

Overall, it was a pretty dull awards show and hopefully based on the garbage that came out last year coinciding with poor ticket sales, Hollywood will realize they can't churn out films that progressively get shittier.

(PS. If you missed the show, here is Three 6 Mafia performing and winning which was by far the most interesting couple minutes of the whole show http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vkhp8i1adFQ&search=three%20six%20mafia)