Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - I'm pretty sure everyone knows the story, but just in case you don't I'll give a quick rundown. Charlie Bucket (Freddie Highmore) is a young boy who lives with his parents Mr. Bucket (Noah Taylor) and Mrs. Bucket (Helena Bonham Carter). Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp) is an eccentric recluse that lives inside of his monsterous chocolate factory. Mr. Wonka decides to hold a contest in which he hides 5 golden tickets inside of his chocolate bars that allow the finder and one guest to tour the factory, along with the added incentive that one person will win a special surprise. Charlie ends up finding one of these tickets after a brief series of events and tours the factory. Charlie takes along Grandpa Joe (David Kelly) and upon arriving at the factory the day of the tour they meet Veruca Salt (Julia Winter), Violet Beauregarde (Annasophia Robb), Augustus Gloomp (Philip Wiegratz), Mike Teavee (Jordan Fry), as well as their parents. The film then follows the group on their tour through the wacky factory.

As for my review, well...


I originally thought of leaving my review as that image pretty much says everything that came to mind during the film. I then realized that wasn't fully fair and should write a real review, well, at least as real a review as I ever do.

When this film was originally announced, I was mighty excited, but still had reservations, mainly because any remakes from my childhood generally end with me in tears. Then I heard that Tim Burton was slated to direct it and eventually Johnny Depp was announced to play Willy Wonka. When I heard that announcement, I got an erection that would've put Ron Jeremy to shame. My excitment became hysteria and my expectations shot through the roof. I've found at least some sort of entertainment and enjoyment in everything I've seen of Burton's and Johnny Depp has earned my seal of approval in spades. I began to fantasize about what kind of nightmarish and dark twist Burton could throw at this story.

As the movie drew closer and I began to see different promo shots from the film, my excitement began dying. As I started reading the first of the reviews, my excitement started getting kicked directly in the balls. I have not read the story in ages, and it's pretty much a blur in my head, but the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory remains pretty crystal clear due to the multiple viewings, it's one of those films you always turn on if it's on TV regardless of how many times you've already seen it. I then read that John August wrote the screenplay for this updated version, you may know him as the writer behind such films as Titan A.E., Charlie's Angels, and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, and began to have fears about what kind of sappy family garbage might spew out of this man. As I entered the theater, I had mixed emotions, was really praying that the few reviews I read were in the minority, and that this film would shine.

The film began and immediately you can tell it is a Burton film as the credit sequence is done in a similar style to Batman and Beetlejuice. Through out the film there are other nods to past Burton films, such as the brand of toothpaste Mr. Bucket caps off is called "Smilex," if you don't get the connection I suggest you watch the film Batman from 1989, and the bikes the Oompa Loompas ride look suspiciously like the bike Peewee Herman loses in Peewee's Big Adventure. The entire collection of Buckets are crafted as extremely likeable people that happen to just have had a run of terrible luck. Charlie is quickly characterized as a sharing, gentle, genuinely good person, Mr. Bucket is a hard-working man who cares about his family above all else, and Mrs. Bucket is a sweet mother that only wants the best for Charlie. All four of the grandparents are bed-ridden, however, they all turn out to be great people with Charlie's best interest at heart. I really like the way all the characters were crafted, Helena Bonham Carter is a personal favorite of mine, always excellent, and she didn't disappoint me in the least, Noah Taylor was equally as great at gaining the audience's sympathy, however, he's not nearly as nice to look at or watch as HBC is. The four spoiled, naughty kids were quickly crafted as caricatures that were easy to despise. Up to that point I generally enjoyed the way the characters were portrayed, until Willy Wonka appeared. Gene Wilder created an eccentric but loveable old man that seemed to take delight in annoying little kids getting their comeuppance and had a somewhat dark presence surrounding him in the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Burton and Depp's spin on Willy Wonka seems to have sprung forth from watching Michael Jackson these last few years, as he even has a similar haircut, similar voice, and his face appears to be molded into shape by multiple botched plastic surgeries. All this tended to give me a creeping suspicion they wanted him to have pedophilic aura surrounding him. He's portrayed as a nut job Freud would have a field day with, that seems to have the mind of a child with the body of an adult that takes delight in giving naughty children a gentle slap on the wrist. Basically, he gets annoying and unfunny fairly quick with his little quips like "Let's boogie" and "You're really weird!" that you've probably seen in the trailers and commercials. Also, in this film, the audience gets a firmer understanding of the background of the Oompa Loompas complete with their meeting and hiring by Mr. Wonka as well as a new set of updated songs. In the end, I have to say, the casting was incredibly well-done and the acting was equally as noteworthy.

As the film began, I promised myself I would not compare this film to the classic that is now a solid part of my childhood that I felt should never have been remade or messed with, regardless of how much it varied from the original Dahl story. I also promised not to compare it to the book even though this film had the support of Felicity Dahl, Roald's wife. Immediately, however, I realized that would be unavoidable because as the film opened, I felt that a lot of charm of the original film was lost by the use of CGI to create such a incredible landscapes and effects.

Willy Wonka's entrance was bland compared to the original entrance, rather than a prankster he now just appeared as an easily exciteable child. The film then continues, and much of it seems to be just Burton's vision of the way the original was shot, using a bigger budget as well as multiple CGI effects that aren't all that spectacular. One thing that is sure to piss off fans of the original is the boat ride through the pyschadelic tunnel. Rather than setting the tone for rest of the tour as somewhat sinister and dark, this boat ride is just a fun boat ride down what looks like a waterslide with a few flashing lights. From there you basically watch the original movie except with Burton's idea of what each set should look like, or at least, that is, until the end.

Besides ruining the mystique of the Oompa Loompas by giving them a simple backstory of how they met Mr. Wonka and changing their songs into pop-hits that sound like they came from American Idol with lyrics that consist almost solely of the Oompa Loompas repeating the child's name, I believe one song is essentially an Oingo Boingo song with the lyrics changed, the story of Willy Wonka's childhood is shown. No longer is this an eccentric old man with a mysterious background, all the mystery is taken away and the audience is able to view brief anecdotes from his past shown in flashback form. In Batman Begins they make Bruce Wayne dressing up as a giant bat and fighting crime more believable and more realistic. The same thing happens in this film with Mr. Wonka and no longer is his history left up to the viewers' imagination.

The ending was the most sappy, contrived ending ever. While the original left the audience with a feeling of "Yay for Charlie!" when it was finally over and Charlie proved that he was the one that deserved the most to be on that tour and deserved winning the contest, this ending is pretty bland and anticlimactic. If you were hoping for a closer-to-the-book retelling of this story on the silver screen, prepare for an immense amount of disappointment.

For those of you that simply don't care, I will spoil the ending for you. Here. If you don't want to hear about this terrible, new, tacked on, sappy, stupid ending stop reading for a bit.

In the end of this film, rather than Mr. Wonka putting Charlie through a series of tests to see if he was deserving of the factory, he simply is given the factory because he is the only one left on the tour. As soon as Wonka realizes he's the only one left, they hop in his elevator and cruise to his house where Wonka gives him an ultimatum that he can either live alone in the factory and run it, or else stay with his family. Charlie chooses to stay with his family, Wonka's sales drop because he's sad, Charlie reunites Wonka with his father, and then Wonka becomes a part of Charlie's family and they end up moving their little shanty into the factory and living happily ever after in a partnership between Charlie and Wonka. It's absolutely terrible and completely full of fluff. I've never been so disappointed in all my life. The closest Charlie ever came to breaking the rules was at one point Wonka dips a ladel in the chocolate river and lets Charlie taste it. I kept waiting for something to come back and bite Charlie in the butt. Instead, Charlie never tasted any fizzy lifting drink or took an everlasting gobstopper or anything. Willy Wonka had no crazy office where he screamed the classic line of "Good day sir!" It just kind ended and tried really hard to have this heart-warming, loveable end that just fell flat and felt completely contrived and horrible.

Ok, I'm done spoiling! Fans of the original movie are in for an immense disappointment. Fans looking for a great rendition of the book done on film are in for a disappointment. Fans looking for some kind of humor besides goofy faces, tired old jokes, and gags like walking into a glass door (yes, this had a recurring gag of Depp walking into a glass door) should not see this film, in fact, you're probably better off seeing Rebound so you can at least laugh at how terrible it is. People going in with no expectations and nothing to compare it to (read: young children and teens) will most likely love it and I have no doubt that this film will do a great deal of business. Just remember, the kids that saw Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D as well as the kids that saw Garfield loved each of those.

After 45 minutes or an hour of this movie I found myself struggling to sit through the whole thing and had no problem taking a break to go to the bathroom while an Oompa Loompa song came on. There were seemingly pointless scenes that made me realize I felt like the film was just dragging on. I really felt glad that I didn't pay any money to see it, because, if I had, I would've demanded my money back and just gone and bought Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on DVD and watched that instead. Something I found slightly ironic was that, even though the 1971 film has Willy Wonka in its title, the film focuses much more on Charlie, and while this film has Charlie in the title, it focuses much more on Willy Wonka and his backstory.

Also, a quick quote I found pretty humorous was

"The movie starts off with another hacked out score from the Elfman 3000 Soundtrack Machine. If you liked his work in Beetlejuice, Batman, and Edward Scissorhands, you'll be thrilled to hear them blended together in this movie. "

In the end, however, as much disdain as it sounds like I have for this movie at the moment, I actually didn't completely despise it, in fact, I wouldn't even go so far as to say I disliked it. It was just kind of like hearing a Ramones song covered by a band like The Lillingtons (if you don't know who they are, they are a modern band that sound extremely similar to the Ramones) except with higher production values. It's certainly not bad, but it's nothing to get excited about. Perhaps upon a repeated viewing or two this film will grow on me, and I'm sure this will eventually end up on a shelf in my DVD rack along with other films created by the Burton and Depp duo. My hopes for Corpse Bride have risen immensely, however, after seeing HBC's performance in this and also, somewhat, Depp's.

I think a great part of my disappointment stems from my expectations this film would be much more dark, and it turned out to be much more whimsical and light-hearted. For new fans that have no nostalgia value attached to the name Willy Wonka or Roald Dahl they will undoubtedly love it and it will become a classic for a new generation, however, for past fans, be prepared for yet another new spin on the end of a classic tale.

As of now, I still feel that this stands as one of the most disappointing summers ever for movies.

(If parts of this review sound lifted, it's because I agree with essentially everything stated in the review over at http://www.retrocrush.com, which is also where that Elfman quote happens to come from.)